Iris: I have a very bad cut/rash/bite/sting on my finger/toe/knee/leg/arm and it is bleeding a lot!
Me: Right.
Iris: Really! I can’t walk/write/wave/twist/jump on the trampoline. It is terrible.
Me: Okay, let me stop making the snack/lunch/dinner/tea/other snack and get the cream/plaster/remedy you need and sit down and apply medicine/love/attention.
Where is it?
Iris: Here.
Me: What? The finger/toe/knee/leg/arm that is currently being dipped in mud/half-way up a tree/hanging upside down from the swing?
Iris: Yeah! It’s better now.
Me: Wren, come, let’s get dressed.
Wren: NOOOOOOO!
Me: Time for breakfast!
Wren: NOOOOOO!
Me: How about a little walk?
Wren: NOOOOO!
Me: I know! You are hungry again. Snack time!
Wren: NOOOOOO!
Me: It could maybe have a little piece of chocolate included?
Wren: NOOOOOOO!
Me: Do you need a pee?
Wren: NOOOOOO!
Me: Would you like a cuddle?
Wren: NOOOOO!
Wren: Read me this book.
Me: Okay, I will. I just need to finish making you this snack/lunch/dinner/tea/other snack and unloading/loading the dishwasher/washing machine/toilet paper dispenser. I’ll be there in a moment/second/a few minutes.
Wren: Read me this.
Me: Yes, I will. I just need to……….
Wren: Read.
Me: My hands/feet/eyes/brain/heart are just a bit busy now but I will come when I can.
Wren: Read me this book.
Me: Uh-huh.
Wren: Now!
News on my phone: You must remember to wash your hands for a minimum of twenty seconds every time you touch a door handle/piece of furniture/your face/someone else/consumables/or go to the bathroom. You must ensure that all members of your family do the same. Otherwise you are irresponsible and could cause death.
Iris: I have a cut/rash/spike/poke to the eye/thorn in my side and it is excruciating!
Me: I’ll just wash my hands.
Wren: Read me this book!
Me: I’ll just wash my hands and you should come with me and wash your hands.
Wren: NOOOOOOO!
Cedar: Where is the computer? I need to zoom.
Wren: Read me this book!
Me: Okay, I’ll just wash my hands. Can you wash your hands, please.
Wren: Read!
Iris: Look at the blood!
Me: Wash your hands and sing happy birthday twice.
Cedar: To who?
Iris: To me. It’s my birthday next.
Cedar: I just did wash my hands.
Me: So did I.
Wren: READ IT!
News on my phone: Urgent call for help from dying Masai. Sneaky passing of new laws that undermine human rights. Millions due to suffer in economic downturn. Do not remain silent! Sign here. And here. And here. If you care about life on earth, sign here. And send. No, send to more people! Hello? You didn’t send. Don’t you care?
Neighbour at 6+ feet: Have you heard about the neighbourhood project/campaign/online chatroom? Do you want me to forward you the email/sign you up/commit your free time to this cause/experiment/waste of time? You seem like the organizer type. I’m sure you’d like to help in this hour of need.
Me: Help. Need.
Cedar: It looks like dinner is all ready.
Iris: What is there?
Cedar: Roast chicken, freshly made bread, roasted vegetables, crispy kale.
Iris: Wow. Why is the table not set? And dinner if just sitting here on the kitchen counter getting cold?
Cedar: Mama! The table is not set! The dinner is getting cold!
Iris: Mama!
Wren: Mama!
Cedar: Mama?
Iris: Where is she?
Cedar: The door is open!
Iris: Her bike is gone.
Cedar: And the tent.
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